I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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