You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
