Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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