help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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