Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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