So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
