The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Randomize
