i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dicks are not precious.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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