If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
