Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
