Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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