marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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