so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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