i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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