After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
