when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
