Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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