sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
