Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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