Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize