Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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