I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
