Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize