Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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