Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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