am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
