yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper