Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
