Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
