he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
