my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize