also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
