Dual....:-)
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
