We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
