there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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