I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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