you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
