If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
