I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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