Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
