I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
