i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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