I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
