ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
should my penis look like a turkey
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
