I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
