I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
