She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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