Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
