You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
