saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
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He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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