This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
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Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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