Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize