ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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