I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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