I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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