she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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