I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
my poor anus
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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