Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
