even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
