I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
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